Finding Purpose in Singleness: Overcoming Loneliness and Embracing God's Plan
This past week has been eventful, to say the least! From unexpected plumbing issues in my new apartment to a bathroom flood, I've been busy handling chaos at home. But even in the midst of that, I've felt the Lord stirring something deeper in my heart—a burden to speak about loneliness, particularly for those who feel overlooked by the church.
The Struggle of Feeling Overlooked
If you’ve ever sat through a church series about parenting or marriage, while you’re sitting there like, “This isn’t for me,” you know what I’m talking about. So often, the church misses a key demographic—singles—especially when it comes to teaching us how to handle these seasons. It can feel like we’re left floating between life stages, unsure of how to navigate our singleness and faith.
Paul didn’t give us much in the Bible about this "in-between" season, and honestly, I sometimes wish he had! Yes, we’re called to fix our eyes on Jesus and the Kingdom, but what about the emotional challenges? How do we process the feelings of being overlooked and unseen, even when we’re faithfully serving?
Embracing Kingdom Purpose in Singleness
As I’ve been reflecting on this, I’ve come to realize that singleness isn’t a season to simply endure. It’s a season of purpose. It’s easy to feel emotionally drained or overlooked, but the truth is, God has a calling for each of us—whether we’re married or single. The challenge is finding that purpose in the midst of feeling unseen.
And that’s what this season of the podcast is going to be about: speaking to those of you who are single, who feel overlooked by the church, and who are wrestling with loneliness. But we’re not just talking about dating; we’re diving into kingdom purpose, community, and overcoming the emotional challenges of singleness.
Overcoming Loneliness in Faith
Loneliness can be a tricky thing. Some of us bury ourselves in busyness to avoid it. Others get so consumed by it that it becomes part of our identity. Here’s the thing: it’s okay to feel lonely, but it’s not okay to live in that loneliness.
The first step to overcoming loneliness is addressing it with God. Be honest with Him. Some of the most powerful moments in my life have been spent on my knees, crying out to God about how I truly feel. And let me say this: God can handle your raw emotions—your anger, disappointment, and loneliness. He doesn’t want you to hide those feelings from Him. He wants to meet you in the desert places.
One verse that has been especially meaningful to me during these times is Psalm 34:18:
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
This verse reminds us that even in our darkest, most crushing moments, God is close. He doesn’t abandon us when we feel overlooked or lonely. He draws near.
Finding Community in Loneliness
Another key to overcoming loneliness is finding a safe, trusted community. I’ve had many conversations with my sister and close friends where I’ve had to admit that I wasn’t where I thought I’d be in life, and those honest conversations have been crucial to navigating this season.
We all need people who can sit with us, listen to us, and support us. Your community doesn’t have to fix everything; sometimes, just having someone to talk to is enough.
Worship in the Midst of Loneliness
Lastly, I want to encourage you to praise God in the midst of your loneliness. This may feel counterintuitive, but sometimes you have to tell your soul it’s time to sing. Put on some worship music, even if you don’t feel like it. Lift your hands and praise God for where you are, even if you don’t see the outcome yet.
When I was in a season of deep loneliness, I danced before the Lord. It wasn’t because I felt like it, but because I knew I needed to stir up my spirit to believe for what I couldn’t yet see.
A Word of Encouragement
I believe that some of you are going to form significant, life-giving relationships in the coming year—not necessarily romantic ones, but covenant friendships, like David and Jonathan. These are the kinds of friendships where people fight for you, pull you out of the mud, and always see the gold in you. I really believe that God is going to transform this season of loneliness into one of deep connection and growth.
Final Thoughts
If you’re feeling overlooked today, I want to challenge you to do three things:
Get honest with God about how you’re feeling. Pour out your heart to Him and trust that He is near, even when you feel crushed.
Be honest with yourself. Have those real conversations with yourself and your community. Don’t carry the burden alone.
Praise God for where you are, even if you don’t see the fruit yet. Worship and believe that joy is coming.
Loneliness isn’t meant to define you. There’s a deeper joy, peace, and purpose waiting for you as you lean into this season with God. You are not forgotten. You are seen. And you are loved.
And lastly, pray for my ceiling. Seriously, though.